CHOCOLATE POETRY | Anuoluwapo Bamiro

TRUST IN LETTING GO

I want to get used to letting go

I hold so tightly I get blisters

Man I grip so hard I see blood

Letting go I thought would kill me

But it’s really holding on and continuing to ignore reality

Wake up

I remind myself

Take care of yourself

You are the only one who can help you

You’re the one that needs to believe in you

Remember baby it’s all up to you

I CHOOSE ME

He chose me
He chose me
He chose me

In a time where I felt undesirable
He choose me

In a time where I felt sad and lonely
He chose me

But when the push came to shove
He left me

When times got tough
He berated me

When life brought me low
He didn’t give a fuck about me

Now I know that’s why
I have to choose me

So during my darkest days
I choose me

In my desperation
I choose me

In my depression
I choose me

With my love
I choose me. !

ME, ME, ME

My only competition is me

I don’t compete against another

I know I’m forever a stunna

Worrying about my lane nothing else matters

Building on what I have

Polishing who I will already be

These demons can’t stop me

My soul is soaring free

I deserve what I ask for

I deserve to feel loved

I deserve to be shown off

I deserve to know your love is all for me

MAYBE

Maybe I’ll write a poem about you

Maybe I’ll tell you how much I like you

Maybe I’ll let the world really see you

Maybe I’ll let myself fall for you

Maybe I’m scared

Maybe I’m afraid

That you’ll love me

Then leave me

And my heart can’t fathom that pain

My brain won’t work the same

I’m falling for you

This I wish was a game

TOO GOOD

Self-sabotage is trynna get me

I’m laying here happy in my soul

But the devil is steadily nagging me

What I am to do

I got these blessings

Yet the devil trynna steal them

I know my connection is unshakeable

So he got me questioning myself

Am I worthy of what I’ve been receiving

Or am I getting a false version of hope

Laying here happy in my soul

Yet the devil is trynna take it from me

FOR ME

Taking care of everybody is just a thankless job

The people act like the help is unwanted

But it the same breathe act as though they’d die without it

I will never understand, how I allowed this happen

Yet it’s up to me to unclear these woes

Focusing on everybody else left me at the bottom of my list

And now I’m focused on me

So I’m holding me accountable

And putting me first

DEJA VU

I met a little girl

She was lost, cold, and hungry

Said everyone she loved up & left her

Said they abandoned her on the way

They left her angry and trusting nobody

Now all she does is hide her cries behind angry words

Dwells with the enemy

Thinking everyone is out to get her

So I took her home

Loved on her, got her cleaned up

And realized something crazy

Staring at her all I saw was the little me

WTF

Love so deep

The pain seems mundane

Were we really bound for life

Or was it just an illusion

Either way I think of you

Either way I dream of you

I know you feel me

I know this shit stings

I know we far away

I know the love was meant to stay

I love you I truly do

But tf am I supposed to do

PATIENCE

Patience, patience, patience

The days seem so long

Yet the years fly by

Patience, patience, patience

Everything you dream will come true

The timing is perfect,

Patience, patience, patience

Know you the shit and

God will never forsake you

Patience, patience, patience

You’ve seen what rushing does

So slow down and enjoy the Divine pace

THRIVING OR SURVIVING

We often lose who we are in survival

When we fixate on one thing, one goal

Thinking that it would take the pain away

Thinking it will clear the rain

Well I’m here to kill that myth

See true happiness lies within

True healing comes when you rip the bandaid off

True salvation comes from truth

We so easily to convince ourselves the pain is only for the moment

But then your chest hurts, Oh now your back is aching

The pain multiples while the soul and body continuously dies.

And here we are still without dry eyes

But me I’m choosing peace

Im choosing joy

I'm choosing salvation with the Lord

What’s it gonna be for you

THE LORD'S PRAYER

God I understand that life is a series of events and we must navigate them with the tools given and seek to do better

Lord I a’int with the negativity any longer

I pray that everything around me is meant to be around me

Lord I a’int forcing shit anymore,

I a’int holding on to what doesn’t want to be held

I AM DOING ME

I AM HAPPY WITH ME
I LOVE ME

STABBING MY BACK

Bring the joy

Heal the pain

These fucked up love songs

Are all insane

No way out

So I scream and shout

I kick and scratched

But found out it was my own back

BYE BABY

Listen I know you feel me leaving,

I know you feel me changing

Baby, I know it scares you

But I know you know me,

I gotta do what is best for me

Even if that's without you

Now I know I can't totally blame you

I had my hands and feet in it too ignoring it

everything I should have listened to

Every sign I ignored

Every burden I carry

Yet I still must walk through that door

ADDICTION

He sees the emotion that I learned to hide so well

We always close now,

but the herb in me is a spell

Add a lil drink in

So emotions start flooding

Always getting deep now,

he loves to get to touching,

I know what my thighs do

to this fine ass caramel man

Oh fuck with me right now

He wants me to get to loving

He’s into freak shit

Catch the vibe when the doors are closing

Roll up the blunt now

Jame and c-c-c-cola

And he keeps com-i-ng over

Cuz its ne-never over

Ohhh

YOU WENT THE WRONG WAY

I went down the path

The one “set out” for me

I took the turns everyone told me

I looked in the mirror and couldn’t even recognize me

I went down the path I once said could never be for me

Walking it just to see

Carried everyone’s pain

Took on all the expectations

Basked in their compliments

Ignored my intuition

Forgetting I’m the only perception that matters

Forgetting I’m the one controlling this body

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

Being tortured by you

Yet craving your love

What is it about you

That I can’t seem to get unstuck

I’m convinced we’re soul-fated lovers

Traveling lives and dimensions together

To find out that it was never really right

Vowing to try again in the next

Just to end up playing the same game

Aren’t you tired

Cause baby I am

I want to give up

But deep in my heart I want our love to win

IT'S OKAY

It’s okay to not be okay

It’s okay to need help and answers

It’s okay that you can’t always save the day

It’s okay to be to yourself

It’s okay to put you first

It’s okay to not have the answers

It’s okay to lean on God

It’s okay to trust your intuition

It’s okay to choose your highest self

2/22/22

I act like I hate you

You act like you fear me

Sticky little words

Tricky little actions

I stand near you

I need you

But you can’t know that

I feel you

But we ignore that

Why are we so good at pretending

Why do we act so cold

Why do we act like the world should never know

RADICAL SELF LOVE

Choosing healing is choosing self

Realizing all the ways we keep ourself imprisoned by fear of healing

All the ways we deny ourself with lack of love

Yes all that shit fucked us up

Shit some of it dam near killed us

But healing is a life long journey that helps you

Healing is a journey that is for you by you

For without healing, we just zombies waiting for an apocalypse

REBORN

I’m so reborn

The pain don’t hurt like it used too

You name don’t burn like you used too

I feel free

I finally remember what it was in me

That kept me dreaming

That kept me going

Remember there was a whole woman

Before I became wrapped up in you

WHAT IS FEAR TO A GIANT

No longer scared of my own power

No longer afraid of storms

I’ve proven to myself time and time again

I can conquer anything

Meaning fear is a lie

Meaning the shit was never real

Cause today I’m healing

Cause tomorrow I’ll still be dealing

So why not get everything I need

WOMBMAN

What is it to be a wombman

The pain we endure

The stress we pretend makes us feel secure

Why are we so afraid

To be our true selves

Why don’t we have wings if we are so scared to fly

Dear Wombman don’t ever be scared

To be who you are

Spirit made you

Embrace the pain it doesn’t last forever

Enjoy the good times

That’s all we have together

SOLITUDE

Sexy with myself

naked by myself

this solitary owns me

I understand what these dreams mean

time to be alone

time to stand tall

get it on my own

My soul yearns to see

my soul yearn to be discreet

When I love me, I’m the best

Knowing the things that used to kill me

dreams that used to haunt me

the baddest bitch

before she

there was only the fucked up things in my head

nobody can beat me

nobody can fucking beat me

THOUGHTS OF ME

Does the thought of me

Bring you peace from you insanity

Do you really love me

Or you can’t see past the hurt that you harbor

I love you

But she wants you

I can’t lie she hold you down

But me I hold you up

Spiritually

Emotionally

I let you know your a king

And never let your shine be dimmed

Maybe I reveal you to you

Maybe I scare you

But either way

Be happy baby

And that’s something I sometimes feel like you lack

The knowledge to truly achieve that

WHAT IS LOVE?

What is love

Do we really know what it is

Are we confusing love with attraction

Are we confusing love with compassion

Are they one in the same

Are they interchangeable

Back at it again

Back at it like an crack addict

But again what is love really

Is it fleeting

Is it a feeling

What

Is

Love …

ON MY MIND ON MY GRIND

Grinding everyday

Living to get paid

Fuck how everybody feel

Fuck trynna get laid

T’m trynna see how far I can go

I’m trynna see how long I can flow y’all hate me

But will never be able to recreate me

Nobody better

Nobody works harder

Tired everyday

But learning new ways

I’m gonna get paid

D'EVILS

The devils you bring

The demons you see

Why did you put that shit on me

Why did you sumerge me in your shit

How could you blame me for the demons you bring

How could you point the finger when you made me bleed

I pray some day you get what you need

Cause I can’t continue to be reaping d’evils you seek

Get what you need

And leave me be

FANTASY

My only competition is me

I don’t compete against another

I know I’m forever a stunna

Worrying about my lane nothing else matters

Building on what I have

Polishing who I will already be

These demons can’t stop me

My soul is soaring free

I deserve what I ask for

I deserve to feel loved

I deserve to be shown off

I deserve to know your love is all for me